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The Time for Change is Now

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Wow, talk about a respite....it has been nearly a year since my last blog post.  I decided it was time because I had so many thoughts swimming around in my head surrounding National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. Recovery is such an enormous and monumental thing that one cannot help but be passionate about it. Even though I have been weight restored for about two years now, I still battle the disorder but to a much lesser extent. As usual, I like to be active during NEDA week as I do feel very strongly about awareness as education is the key to early detection and prevention.   So, here is a quick recap of where I am after starting recovery from Anorexia in February of 2019.  I just spoke about weight restoration...that took a long time, but I am at a healthy weight. I have gained over 30 pounds since 2019. I don't love the way I look but I don't hate myself (I did hate the way I looked a large part of my life). I know that my worth is not connected to the way I loo...
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Positive Thoughts on Holidays, Food, Loss, and Regret

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  This blog has been simmering for a while.  My twisty thoughts have been taking longer than usual to unravel.  You might guess that by that mambo-sized title….how will I ever wrap all that into one blog and make it positive? I am not sure but I do know this, I always do my best to listen to my heart and do what my gut says because I hate regret and I try to avoid it at all costs….more on that later….I hope!  So, here goes!  My last blog was pre-Boston, which is almost two months ago.  I have packed lot of life into a few weeks......two birthdays,  all of Thanksgiving and Christmas tradition. I have cared for and planned for it all and it has been wonderful.   I have either been in high gear getting things done or just the opposite, which is a completely unproductive and melted-mind state. By the way, unproductive is perfectly okay, healthy, and good to do, which is hard to see unless you have a healthy mental state. Now that my busy personal ti...
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Would You Rather?

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  Would You Rather?  This game was made for me, I love it!!…along with just asking random weird questions…like, I wonder why…? On this eve of running the Boston marathon, I was thinking about the last three years since I qualified.   It should have been about a year and a half between my qualifier and Boston but you know we had this pandemic thing. When Boston 2020 was cancelled, about a month before the race, I felt I was ready. I had just run my first 20 miler of that cycle and I was feeling great. I had killed that run with the help of a friend.   It was my fastest 20-mile training run on record, I believe.   A few days later, the news came.   No Boston. So we waited and reset for fall 2020. I didn’t restart my cycle until about the latest time possible as I thought it was going to be cancelled again.   I had built up but not really in earnest because I was getting mentally worn down after the first reset already.   It was cancelled again in ...
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