Knowing our Limits but Pushing Right Up to Them

 

The sky is not the limit

Maybe you have big life goals.  How do you push yourself to achieve or do well without losing yourself in the process of mastery? Do you need to have any big goals? How do you know when a goal is within reach? When is it important to see a goal through?  What about those things that get in the way, our own limits? How do we deal with limits and obstacles? These are just a few of the many questions that run wild in my brain and end up looking like a labyrinth going nowhere. Sometimes, writing helps. Other times, I am still in a mental tizzy.

Maybe just maybe, you want to look differently. Maybe you want to lose weight. But what if you are right where you need to be?  Maybe your body was not meant to be 5’8’’, xxx pounds. This blog is not about weight but it is about goals and limitations.  I see so many people out there wanting to lose weight or look a certain way; that is not meant for them anymore than me running like Shalane Flanagan.  Do you know that your body and you are special?  It does not wish to look like Anna down the street. It wants to be you. Enough about that.

I have thought many times the last few years about my own limits…. Running limits, emotional limits, physical limits, mental limits, energy limits, patience limits, time limits. Life limits….I want to spend the rest of my life living it well, living it better while meeting a few goals. I want to be able to accept my limits and take joy from the things that matter. Here is what I mean; I want to take joy from running right now even though I am really slow compared to 2018-2019. It is honestly hard to do that some days.

My limits have been tested repeatedly and the more I come to know my individual limits and not futilely compare them to others, the better off I am. For example, I have always needed a lot of sleep. I don’t really like that fact and the more I try and fight it off, the more miserable I am. I was made this way.   So, what do I do? I am now honoring it. If you are trying to live and look like some other body, stop fighting it. Honor it. Honor the person God made you to be.

I feel like to living joyfully and peacefully, we really need to be honest with ourselves.  We must have an idea of what we are capable of to be able to make the most of ourselves… I want to become the best me and not spend time on things that are not for me. Having some goals keeps us striving forward but if we have unrealistic goals (because we don’t truly know our limits), I believe we are fooling ourselves.

The messaging in the world is wrong. NO, we cannot all do anything or achieve anything we want. There are limits to animals, humans, men and women, children etc.  And of course, we each have God-given talents and gifts….that is what makes us each special. Just because I want or wish to be or do something and put all the work in, does not make it possible.  We must have some talent/gift and we usually must work toward it to make it happen. I would love to only need 6 hours of sleep a night.  I need 10 or more.  It makes getting stuff done difficult!  I can work around it but I cannot change it. It is a limit. I would also like to be 5’7’’. Also, not going to happen. Those facts may seem obvious but they make the point.  We have to know what we can do and what we are capable of.

My body is limited too but I was able to push it to a limit and meet a goal. It is also okay that my body is limited. Back when my doctor said that I needed to quit marathons, I did not know how I could mentally do it, but I promised to do that after Boston.  So far, it has been easy. I am not tempted to run 26.2 anytime soon😊. I have been handed a new purpose and I do not miss what I was once very attached to, because I reached my goal and I also accepted my limited body and talent. How did I know?.....because I pushed it as far as I could and I knew the limit when I reached it....it is only my limit. It belongs to me.

I know my mental and emotional limits much better. Recovery forces you to have boundaries and know your limits. When you lose a coping mechanism, recovery becomes nearly impossible without boundaries. You need them to “harness the good and block out the bad” as Gary Potter said in Happy Gilmore. If I were to allow myself to be pushed beyond any limit, here comes anorexia. I have limits. It is okay. Self-awareness. Grace. Gratitude. Prevail. Very honestly, it is like I sit in the middle of a teeter totter and my boundaries help me stay in the middle and balanced and not plummeting to the bottom.

All of that mixed in with some good objective, rational thought about what we can do, what we cannot do, and if we should do it and why, can be life changing for anyone.

It all goes back to that saying about leaning your ladder against the wrong wall. When it comes to my life, I think that my ladder is now up against the right wall. If it had stayed on my past wall, a lot of things may have turned out differently. If I had not listened to my doctor, I don’t think I would be climbing any ladders at all. 

Once I started listening to the prophets around me and understood my goals within the context of my limits, life changed. Give it a try. People can help you (probably my biggest learning in life).

This reminds me of a story, people have been telling me all my life to stop pushing on the thin parts of the  icy lake because it might break...I always had to test it. I had a lot of soaking feet and skates in my childhood. Maybe I am finally learning....although I did put my foot in  large icy puddle about a year ago on a very wonderful hike...up until that point.

Know yourself and set those behemoth and bodacious goals. How do you know? Only you know, it will be deep in your soul, striking knowledge....at least that is what I feel.