Another Year Coming to a Close

 

Mercy, how does this happen?  It seems like just yesterday that I started NY eve with Covid and shortly after a new hip (which is now doing great). And, it has been so many months since I last sat down to do this. To sit and type and write is a very therapeutic action for me and yet so many times when the ideas pop in my already-fully-muddled brain, I don’t sit and type.  What have I been doing, you ask? You might think, she is compulsively or obsessively exercising, hiking, baking, reading, or working. But the answer is when I could have been writing, I was usually stress cleaning, painting walls, and organizing…….for a better part of two years off and on in some shape or way that is what has filled my downtime. I did take two wonderful trips to hike. One in the summer to Bozeman and a quick one to LeConte this fall, picture above.

Case in point on the cleaning though, last night before drifting off to sleep, I was “dreaming” about another closet space I could improve.  But before that delightful dream, I decided to get up and tackle a small space/shelf in one of my already organized closets (except for that one shelf) and that was in the middle of the football game I was watching.

I have also been getting stressed about the fact that I have not written anything in nearly a year!  It has been easier to sit and work than to do what I am passionate about. It really does not have much to do with what I like or don’t like. I like my work and I like to write.  Writing relieves my stress, but I seem to be too stressed to write. So why is that? Possibly it is that so much is unsaid/unwritten that I don’t know where to start?  It is like having so many messy closets or such a big stack of filing that you cannot get going. So, how do we get going? Just like Santa sings in “Santa Claus is coming to town”, “put one foot in front of the other.” We watched it this year…. yeah, not with any grandchildren either..ha-ha. It was just us, grown-ups.

My next step to getting this ball rolling is to make a list of blog topics to clear my brain and find some cohesive thought…. Cohesive thought remains to be seen…lol. I think now I do know where to start…..

Last night, I found out that a friend passed away. She is a friend who has lived with Anorexia for nearly all of her 60+ years of earthly life.  My heart is heavy with the weight and the power of eating disorders and the toll they take on the body and the soul. My heart is heavy knowing all the while I tried to encourage her and spend time listening to her, it was a lost cause as I knew she was too far gone.  I have only known her for the last year or so. But for years before, I had seen her around our community, and I knew while I was sick that she was even more sick.  God kept putting her in front of me while I was really wrangling with getting better. I would run into her at the most perfect times. She has no idea, but she had an impact on my healing. I could see in a real way where I could be headed if I did not keep fighting.  More importantly, it seemed I was being told very directly what my future could be. I hurt for the pain she suffered and for her family. I hope her burden is now lifted.

So, I will keep putting one foot in front of the other and we all should do that. No big resolutions in my life. Just one foot in front of the other or one keystroke after another.  Momentum and motivation come from action; it is true. I encourage everyone this new year, not to make resolutions. I know I have things to work on, but those things are not going to be resolved away or resolved into action with a one-time wish. Life goals, not short-term fixes or resolutions are where movement and change come from.  

While this is fresh and while my heart aches, I will say this: if you or a loved one has disordered habits with food or movement, take them seriously. Disordered relationships with food or movement can and often do lead to eating disorders.

All my best to you and yours for 2024. 

P.S. I feel so much better now that I wrote about not writing. Ready to go again.