Powering Through and Something's Gotta Give

The dangers and pitfalls of the philosophy of powering through.

Oh boy, do we power through in our country. Similar to last week's post, this one to a degree is also about the dangers of flying solo and not sharing what ails you with other's.  This post arose some from what I posted last week, a homily given by my husband on Sunday, and then a post I read in a Boston Marathon Facebook group that I am in.

Too often in our society, we live by the idea of sucking it up and toughing it out and the worst part is we are teaching our young people to do the same. We need to teach our young people to share their lives....there is an epidemic of unhealthy behavior in college students and they are suffering.

Whether we are pushing through a physical injury or pushing through mental/emotional difficulties, we are harming ourselves.  The idea that suffering needlessly is something to be proud of is a bit twisted and in the end, it usually leads to some type of trouble or injury. We think that we have so much control that we can make it all work. The qualities of perseverance, determination, hard work, and even stubbornness are admirable when they are balanced with sensible, rational thinking and for me prayer. I have lived by the suck it up philosophy nearly all my life...but I am now learning (thanks to years of mistakes pushing through and a team of professionals who help me) that living like that is not the best way to live well. As a runner, I can testify that runners often don't think sensibly when it comes to potential injury or being side-lined.

So, circling back to that Facebook post, a marathon athlete had a great question about when to push through a long run when struggling to feel good....She asked do you push through, cut it short but go faster, sleep in??? There was one response that said "short of a broken tibia, run the work-out as planned".  That is dangerous advice in my humble opinion  I ignored his comment and said what I would do but that she ultimately had to learn to listen to her body and understand that if she pushed through it what the effect might be. How had she been recovering, sleeping, and eating? Those factors need to be paid attention to before it is too late and something's gotta give at often a very inconvenient time.

I pushed through numerous physical injuries during my running years and always ended up regretting it...thinking after..why was I so dumb, when will I learn? If only I had stopped and listened. One day off was better than weeks or more.  I finally got it a few years back when I realized that I had to live with a badly worn out hip that could only be cured with a replacement. So, to prolong the life of the hip and continue running meant a lot of PT and smart behavior. When our bodies are tired and we continue to pound them, parts of our body that are not accustomed to working hard are taxed beyond where they should be, at least that is what I think. If our bodies are not properly rested and fueled bad things happen.....maybe not right away but eventually. And that is the scary thing....what is happening under the hood when you look at the engine. Just because the car looks beautiful does not mean it runs well, right?

Physically and mentally, when we run ourselves into the ground repeatedly, it will catch up.  It is like the car that is constantly abused and not cared for, it may run tomorrow or it may suddenly not start or it might die on a long trip. I have learned a lot in eating disorder recovery about the dangers of mentally and physically pushing through and how to better care for myself. Those powering though behaviors are part of what contributed to having anorexia.

Once I was well into recovery, I asked my dietitian one day...."I just don't understand how I was able to do what I did eating so little. Now, when I don't eat well, I can feel it on a run and I am still eating so much more". None of it computed in my mind.

I was malnourished and injured...my hip had every -itis known to man and I ran a marathon PR and qualified for Boston in 2018.  It was my first BQ. How was that possible? My dietitian said that she has seen humans do remarkable things but eventually it won't work anymore.  She said, "What do you think you would be like now if you had not gotten help? You would probably be in a body cast". So the lesson is, you can power through for a while but at what price? When will the abused car not start or quit running on that long trip? That marathon was costly. Fortunately, I had a doctor who was very persistent in getting me the help after that race. Soon after, I started my path to recovery by working with my dietitian and eventually a specialist in Eating Disorder therapy.

I mentally and emotionally powered through all my life. Denying my feelings and pushing them away, keeping all my heavy thoughts to myself and ignoring physical pain. All of that behavior resulted in anorexia and overuse injuries eventually.  I was a rather sickly kid....no wonder. Sadly, I did not  know the effect of all of this on me until now.  

Thankfully, there is more information coming out about mental health and wellness, Health At Every Size, and how to generally become more vulnerable which is the answer to a lot of our mental health issues in my opinion. Thankfully, these days, we at least have some resources to go to to learn the art of being vulnerable and putting yourself out there in the "arena". Brene' Brown's books are some of the best. Reading a variety of books (Brown's have been the most impactful for me) has been a huge help to me along with my recovery team, family and friends....all of course gifts from God. 

The picture above is on Cliff Top at Mt. Le Conte with two of my best friends. Hiking in the mountains and adventuring with them has been healthy and priceless for me. To add to the fun, it can be quite warped at times. A final side-note, I am a pretty strong introvert so it is not natural for me to be social or open....so we all need it to differing degrees. I see and feel your discomfort out there you hermits:) I challenge you to give it a try. Step out, speak up. 

Life is a gift, gifts are meant to be shared. Share your life with others.

xoxoxoxoxoxo